Okay, it's about damn time that I wrote a post about all the crap I've had to deal with in France because of their ridiculous bureaucratic notions. Before I start, though, a list of things that suck about France:
1) They kill so many trees. Seriously. They are so old-fashioned in the fact that they want paper versions of EVERYTHING. And they loooove their photocopies. Every single time I've had to submit a form, I've had to include so many freaking copies of things. Kill me now. No, scratch that, kill the trees now. (Yeah I know, I'm hilarious)
2) If you ever know you're going to have to wait on a line, get there an hour before you originally intended to. Because no matter what kind of service it is, you will have to wait. Forever. Because the French are notoriously SLOW at EVERYTHING.
3) The post office sucks. Also really slow. But since the French just can't live without paper everything, you still have to use the post office all the time. Which also sucks.
4) Eating out here is completely opposite of the US. You know how in the States, waiters are always (or at least supposed to be) super attentive and refilling your glass and all that jazz? Well, here they have more of a laissez-faire attitude. Their idea is, leave the customer alone until they're frantically waving their hands in the air in an attempt to get the check so they can make it to whatever pre-scheduled thing they're late for. That's my perception anyway. I mean, okay, I admit that it's nice to let people eat in peace and take their time, whatever, but I WANT MY FREAKING WATER DAMN IT. And if I have something to go to? Well then it just seems like they ignore you even more. Basically, whenever you want something at a restaurant, you have to actually flag down a waiter and ask for it. Kind of annoying.
5) This one isn't really something that sucks, but it can be slightly inconvenient: at grocery stores, they don't give you bags. You have to bring your own reusable ones. And if you forget your bags and end up buying a ton of stuff, you have to buy bags. Which is very good for the environment and all, but not so good for when you actually do forget your bags.
Okay, now that I'm done ranting about general things in France, here's my story.
Phone
You already read about the phone problem I had when I first got here. I actually had ANOTHER phone problem when I switched providers. Originally, I had a prepaid sim card with La Poste Mobile, which is a pretty standard prepaid plan. However, I heard about another provider called Free Mobile, which was supposed to have a pretty good deal--unlimited calling and texting within France, and also unlimited calling to the U.S. and Canada, for only 20 euros a month! So of course I signed up for it.
This is how the process is supposed to go: you sign up for Free Mobile online, and 2 days after you sign up you receive your new sim card. 2 days after that, if you choose to keep the same number from your old provider, they deactivate the old sim card and you can activate your new one whenever.
This is how things actually happened for me: I signed up, did not receive the sim card 2 days later, but they deactivated my old one 2 days after that anyway. I called them about a week later and they said they sent the sim card, but I never got it. So it got lost in the mail. They said they'd send a new one, which I did get, finally, 2 days after I called. So I went about 2 weeks without a working sim card. 2 WEEKS WITHOUT A PHONE. FREAKING RIDICULOUS. Don't trust the French postal service, guys. It is major fail.
Internet
Now it's time to hear about my internet problems. I opened an account with SFR, one of the major internet/phone companies in France, at the beginning of October (according to them, it was October 10th). Okay, you need to understand that subscribing to internet in France is not at all like it is in the States. In the wonderful, lovely United States of America, you can just go to the store and buy your own router, and set up wifi yourself at home. Here, you have to sign up for internet FIRST, and then they SHIP you your router. And they don't even ship it to your house. They ship it to this like...outpost of theirs, which in my case was called Cartridge World. They also have to activate your DSL line remotely.
A couple of days after signing up for internet, I got a text from SFR saying my DSL line was activated. Not too long after that, I got another text saying that my router had been delivered. So I picked it up, brought it home, and attempted to set up internet. While I was trying to install internet, it said that my DSL line was not activated. I, of course, was dumbfounded, because they had told me it was. So I went back to the store, complained, and the guy called SFR. He talked to them and told me that they would call me within 48 hours to talk through the problem with me. They didn't. So I called them a day or two after that, and they told me that someone else would call me within 48 hours. Starting to see a pattern here? So they did call me this time, except I was at work, so I couldn't pick up. This game of phone tag continued for probably about a week.
Finally, they called me while I was home, and they had me do some tests with the router. They determined that it was not a problem with the router, but a problem with the DSL line. They told me a technician would call me. And the game of phone tag recommenced. After they failed to reach me several times, I called them, and they had me do the same exact test. Again. Very frustrating. Then they said they would send a technician from SFR, and he came, and he determined that it wasn't a problem with the DSL line, but with the actual phone line. Yeah. So now they had to contact France Telecom (the phone operating company) to fix the problem.
They called me a few times, again, while I was at work, and after that I didn't hear from them for a while. So I called them again. And I found out that in their file, it said my problem was resolved. Of course I told them that the problem was, in fact, not resolved, and they said they would relaunch it. Then I decided to go to the SFR store (not where I signed up for internet because I signed up at a place that offered multiple internet options, but the actual store of SFR) in town and asked them about it. They called and found out that my file had been closed because they couldn't reach me. What kind of service is that?! You don't close a file if you can't reach someone, you keep trying until you reach them! Idiots. So they reopened my file, and I told them specifically when I was available for calls, so he said they would call me either last Monday or last Wednesday. They called me Monday, but NOT at the time that I specified. Then I got a call a few days ago saying that they were going to send a technician from France Telecom. So he arrived this morning, and within half an hour he had fixed the problem. Apparently the phone line had been deconnected in the entrance of my building, which is why it hadn't been working. STUPID. SO STUPID. Anyway, to sum it all up, I finally have a legit internet connection now, and if you are my friend and you're reading this, tell me when you're free to video chat!!! =)
Oh, one more thing. You're probably wondering how I got online during this whole debacle. Well, one of my friends here has "connections" and got me a username and password for Freewifi (same parent company as Free Mobile), one of the networks available at my house, so I've been using that. Hehe. Oh yeah, there's no such thing as "free" wifi in France. Except at McDonald's. For all other "public" wifi networks, you actually need to have a username and password for the networks, meaning you need to be subscribed to an internet plan. Fucking. Ridiculous. I've also been using internet on my phone, since my Free Mobile plan includes 3 gigabytes worth of 3G. And I have also been mooching off of friends, mostly Natalie, who is kind enough to let me go over to her place several times a week to use her internet. So thank you to everyone who has let me use their internet in the past 2 months! Yeah, 2 months. Can you believe it? Anyway, I'm just so relieved now that I have internet. Time to go hassle SFR to give me my money back for the first two months.
1) They kill so many trees. Seriously. They are so old-fashioned in the fact that they want paper versions of EVERYTHING. And they loooove their photocopies. Every single time I've had to submit a form, I've had to include so many freaking copies of things. Kill me now. No, scratch that, kill the trees now. (Yeah I know, I'm hilarious)
2) If you ever know you're going to have to wait on a line, get there an hour before you originally intended to. Because no matter what kind of service it is, you will have to wait. Forever. Because the French are notoriously SLOW at EVERYTHING.
3) The post office sucks. Also really slow. But since the French just can't live without paper everything, you still have to use the post office all the time. Which also sucks.
4) Eating out here is completely opposite of the US. You know how in the States, waiters are always (or at least supposed to be) super attentive and refilling your glass and all that jazz? Well, here they have more of a laissez-faire attitude. Their idea is, leave the customer alone until they're frantically waving their hands in the air in an attempt to get the check so they can make it to whatever pre-scheduled thing they're late for. That's my perception anyway. I mean, okay, I admit that it's nice to let people eat in peace and take their time, whatever, but I WANT MY FREAKING WATER DAMN IT. And if I have something to go to? Well then it just seems like they ignore you even more. Basically, whenever you want something at a restaurant, you have to actually flag down a waiter and ask for it. Kind of annoying.
5) This one isn't really something that sucks, but it can be slightly inconvenient: at grocery stores, they don't give you bags. You have to bring your own reusable ones. And if you forget your bags and end up buying a ton of stuff, you have to buy bags. Which is very good for the environment and all, but not so good for when you actually do forget your bags.
Okay, now that I'm done ranting about general things in France, here's my story.
Phone
You already read about the phone problem I had when I first got here. I actually had ANOTHER phone problem when I switched providers. Originally, I had a prepaid sim card with La Poste Mobile, which is a pretty standard prepaid plan. However, I heard about another provider called Free Mobile, which was supposed to have a pretty good deal--unlimited calling and texting within France, and also unlimited calling to the U.S. and Canada, for only 20 euros a month! So of course I signed up for it.
This is how the process is supposed to go: you sign up for Free Mobile online, and 2 days after you sign up you receive your new sim card. 2 days after that, if you choose to keep the same number from your old provider, they deactivate the old sim card and you can activate your new one whenever.
This is how things actually happened for me: I signed up, did not receive the sim card 2 days later, but they deactivated my old one 2 days after that anyway. I called them about a week later and they said they sent the sim card, but I never got it. So it got lost in the mail. They said they'd send a new one, which I did get, finally, 2 days after I called. So I went about 2 weeks without a working sim card. 2 WEEKS WITHOUT A PHONE. FREAKING RIDICULOUS. Don't trust the French postal service, guys. It is major fail.
Internet
Now it's time to hear about my internet problems. I opened an account with SFR, one of the major internet/phone companies in France, at the beginning of October (according to them, it was October 10th). Okay, you need to understand that subscribing to internet in France is not at all like it is in the States. In the wonderful, lovely United States of America, you can just go to the store and buy your own router, and set up wifi yourself at home. Here, you have to sign up for internet FIRST, and then they SHIP you your router. And they don't even ship it to your house. They ship it to this like...outpost of theirs, which in my case was called Cartridge World. They also have to activate your DSL line remotely.
A couple of days after signing up for internet, I got a text from SFR saying my DSL line was activated. Not too long after that, I got another text saying that my router had been delivered. So I picked it up, brought it home, and attempted to set up internet. While I was trying to install internet, it said that my DSL line was not activated. I, of course, was dumbfounded, because they had told me it was. So I went back to the store, complained, and the guy called SFR. He talked to them and told me that they would call me within 48 hours to talk through the problem with me. They didn't. So I called them a day or two after that, and they told me that someone else would call me within 48 hours. Starting to see a pattern here? So they did call me this time, except I was at work, so I couldn't pick up. This game of phone tag continued for probably about a week.
Finally, they called me while I was home, and they had me do some tests with the router. They determined that it was not a problem with the router, but a problem with the DSL line. They told me a technician would call me. And the game of phone tag recommenced. After they failed to reach me several times, I called them, and they had me do the same exact test. Again. Very frustrating. Then they said they would send a technician from SFR, and he came, and he determined that it wasn't a problem with the DSL line, but with the actual phone line. Yeah. So now they had to contact France Telecom (the phone operating company) to fix the problem.
They called me a few times, again, while I was at work, and after that I didn't hear from them for a while. So I called them again. And I found out that in their file, it said my problem was resolved. Of course I told them that the problem was, in fact, not resolved, and they said they would relaunch it. Then I decided to go to the SFR store (not where I signed up for internet because I signed up at a place that offered multiple internet options, but the actual store of SFR) in town and asked them about it. They called and found out that my file had been closed because they couldn't reach me. What kind of service is that?! You don't close a file if you can't reach someone, you keep trying until you reach them! Idiots. So they reopened my file, and I told them specifically when I was available for calls, so he said they would call me either last Monday or last Wednesday. They called me Monday, but NOT at the time that I specified. Then I got a call a few days ago saying that they were going to send a technician from France Telecom. So he arrived this morning, and within half an hour he had fixed the problem. Apparently the phone line had been deconnected in the entrance of my building, which is why it hadn't been working. STUPID. SO STUPID. Anyway, to sum it all up, I finally have a legit internet connection now, and if you are my friend and you're reading this, tell me when you're free to video chat!!! =)
Oh, one more thing. You're probably wondering how I got online during this whole debacle. Well, one of my friends here has "connections" and got me a username and password for Freewifi (same parent company as Free Mobile), one of the networks available at my house, so I've been using that. Hehe. Oh yeah, there's no such thing as "free" wifi in France. Except at McDonald's. For all other "public" wifi networks, you actually need to have a username and password for the networks, meaning you need to be subscribed to an internet plan. Fucking. Ridiculous. I've also been using internet on my phone, since my Free Mobile plan includes 3 gigabytes worth of 3G. And I have also been mooching off of friends, mostly Natalie, who is kind enough to let me go over to her place several times a week to use her internet. So thank you to everyone who has let me use their internet in the past 2 months! Yeah, 2 months. Can you believe it? Anyway, I'm just so relieved now that I have internet. Time to go hassle SFR to give me my money back for the first two months.
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